Alternate Future Presidential Press Conference

Reporter:  Mr. President!!! Mr. President!!!

President Romney:  What? Oh, right!  What is your question?

Reporter:  Sir, you are the duly elected President of the United States, correct?

President Romney:  Yes, that is correct.

Reporter:  And that means you are also the Commander in Chief, right?

President Romney:  Yes, that is correct, the Constitution itself makes it so.

Reporter:  And you draw a salary as President and Commander in Chief?

President Romney:  Why, yes.  I believe there is a statute to that effect.

Reporter: Very good, sir.  Given that, could you please explain why the US military has attacked Iran?

President Romney:  Oh! I see your confusion.  No, at the time that attack took place, the First Lady and I were doing a tour of our mansions, we do not like to leave them to the staff for too long without checking up on them. You never know when the opportunity to fire staff will arise!

So, you see, I was on a kind of sabbatical from the Presidency when the attack took place.  I cannot be held responsible for the actions of the people I left in charge while I was away.

Next question, please




Update:  I added the line “You never know when the opportunity to fire staff will arise!”

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